Strange Attractors
by Raggetymanftw
Summary: Sam's meetings with the Trickster.
1. A Meet Cute

Sam knew that, even though he had a slight preference for women, gender didn't really matter to him. He had only fooled around with a couple of guys before, Brady being the most serious of flings before Sam got together with Jess, but he had never gone the whole way with him, or any guy for that matter. And he had never really wanted to. None of the guys he had been with made him feel comfortable enough or wanted for more than just one night to give them everything.

Sam held this opinion for a long time. It wasn't until he was in a office of a dead professor who had taken a nose dive out a window did he seriously consider changing that opinion.

The janitor was short, but really attractive in his own unique, almost mischievous sort of way. It was highlighted in the way he moved and talked. Sam knew he had a chance with this guy, especially with the way the janitor was checking out his ass.

Sam almost asked the guy for his number, but he left the office before Sam could ask. Sam hoped he would get another chance, so he just smiled softly to himself and got on with the job.  
-

The janitor was now a suspect, which really sucked. Hopefully they could clear him soon so Sam could "put the moves on him" like Dean had said.  
-

The janitor had turned out to be the Trickster. Sam felt like disappointment was an understatement. The only guy that Sam had ever truly considered fucking or being fucked by, turned out to be a monster. Just his fucking luck. And even after they figured out who and what he was, it didn't stop Sam from still wanting him. Which left Sam feeling slightly uncomfortable. When Dean killed the Trickster, Sam couldn't help but feel a little sad. The janitor had been nice and flirted with him and made him feel like he might have been interested in more than just one night. Sam sighed. Some things just weren't meant to be.  
-

When Sam realised that it was the Trickster that had forced him to live Tuesdays over and over again, the first emotion Sam felt was betrayal. Which was irrational. The Trickster hasn't owed him any sort of loyalty, but it still hurt. Sam had mourned for him, even if only a little, and to find he had done this wrecked Sam and messed with his emotions.  
-

Sam lost it when Dean died. Permanently this time. He was angry and scared and betrayed. He needed to find the Trickster.  
-

Sam learned something about himself that day. Firstly, he killed Bobby so he could save his brother. The one man that he saw as a father figure, he sacrificed to the Trickster. That in itself was fucked up. It worried Sam. How far would he go to save Dean if he died again?

Secondly, he was still attracted to the Trickster, and from that smirk on his face, the Trickster knew it too. Sam couldn't believe himself. After everything this monster had done, Sam still wanted him.

At first, Sam thought the Trickster might have put a spell on him, but Sam had done some anti-love and anti-attraction spells on himself, attempting to undo anything the Trickster might have done to him, but nothing changed.

Sam was almost angry with himself and his infatuation with the Trickster, but there was nothing he could do. Sam just supposed he was attracted to danger. That's why he started fooling around with Brady. As much as Sam had wanted Brady to get back on the straight and narrow, Sam had to admit to himself that the bad-boy vibe was really hot. Don't worry, Sam knew he was a walking cliche.

But then, the Trickster had smiled sadly at him, his expression softening, showing true emotion and sympathy for the first time. He sighed.

"This obsession to save Dean? The way you two keep sacrificing yourselves for each other? Nothing good comes out of it. Just blood and pain. Dean's your weakness. And the bad guys know it, too. It's gonna be the death of you, Sam. Sometimes you just gotta let people go." The Trickster said softly, as if he was afraid to scare Sam off.

"But he's my brother." Sam said brokenly.

"I know, kid. I understand in more ways that you can possibly know, but understand, this is what it will be like when he's gone." The Trickster said.

"Please, please just take me back to that Wednesday." Sam pleaded.

The Trickster sighed. "You Winchesters." He said almost fondly. "You're going to be the death of me."

The Trickster clicked his fingers and Sam woke up once again, and it was Wednesday. All over again.


	2. Not So Unrequited

Chapter 2: Unrequited Love That Might Not Be So Unrequited

The minute that Sam had interviewed the victim, he knew that it was the Trickster. The Hulk killing a wife-beater? Just his style.

Sam didn't really want to kill the Trickster, but he wasn't going to tell Dean that. Sam thought that he should hate the Trickster for all the things that he had done, but he just couldn't. Sam could see that he had been trying to teach Sam something. Not just devise a way to escape being hunted.

No, Sam just told Dean that if they couldn't convince the Trickster to help them, then they would kill him. But that thought made Sam frown. The stake that, according to the lore, was supposed to kill tricksters didn't work on the Trickster. Dean had stabbed him in the heart with it, just like he was supposed to. But it still hadn't killed him. Did that mean that the Trickster wasn't actually a trickster at all?

When the Trickster had called Castiel by name and was able to kick his ass, when he shouldn't have been able to, all Sam could think was that the Trickster was actually an angel.

Soon, it came to light that the Trickster was actually Gabriel, the Archangel, the Messenger of God. Sam almost sighed in relief. The creature that he had a major hard-on for turned out not to be a monster, but an angel. But then Sam became saddened. The Trickster, Gabriel, had suddenly become even more unattainable. Sam didn't know what it was about Gabriel that captivated him so much. Maybe it was because of how powerful he was. Maybe it was the whole "I do what I please" attitude. Maybe it was because he only killed bad people. Maybe it was because Gabriel would never hurt the innocent. Maybe it was because Gabriel was a lot more human than he seemed. Maybe because Sam saw himself in Gabriel, or maybe he saw Gabriel in himself. Whatever the reason, Gabriel was in his heart and he was there to stay. But the fact that Gabriel didn't want to help save the world disappointed Sam somewhat. He guessed Archangels weren't all they were cracked up to be.

Sam's eyes lingered on the angel for a few moments. And as much as he tried hard not to, he still wanted Gabriel. Sam sighed and turned and left the run down building, leaving Gabriel in the circle of Holy Fire.

* * *

Gabriel had come back for them. Saved them from the Pagan gods.

Sam was irrationally envious of the relationship that Gabriel obviously had with Kali. It was clear that Gabriel was somewhat in love with her, even if she wasn't completely in love with him. Sam knew at that moment that he had no chance. He couldn't compete with a beautiful, pagan goddess. Sam forced down his feelings of hurt and decided to focus on the matter at hand. Escaping the pagan gods, avoiding Lucifer and getting out of this alive.

Gabriel had handed Sam a dvd and told him to guard it with his life, before getting up from behind the table and walking towards the door.

Then Gabriel died. Lucifer killed him, seeing through Gabriel's tricks and illusions and stabbed his brother with his own Angel Blade.

Sam couldn't believe that he had sacrificed himself to save them. They got away as quickly as possible.

The next day, they put on the dvd that Gabriel gave to them and Gabriel told them what to do to stop the Apocalypse before…well.

Dean had closed the laptop in disgust.

Sam found it hard to swallow. The guy he had mooned over for years was dead. And he wasn't coming back.

Later that night, Sam played the dvd and watched Gabriel's message. He was about to turn it off right before it got to the porno part of the dvd, but Sam's curiosity got the better of him.

As he watched the angel and the woman writhe around on the bed, Sam felt an emotion that he generally only felt in regards to Gabriel and other men and women. Envy. He had felt it when he watched how Gabriel had protected Kali and he was feeling it now as he watched Gabriel had very convincingly romantic sex. Deep down, Sam wished it was him rather than the blonde girl.

Soon, the video came to a close and the screen turned black. Sam was about to close the lid of the laptop when the video started again. It must have been another scene. Sam sighed, not wanting to watch Gabriel bed yet another woman, but he stopped when he saw what was really happening.

Gabriel was lying on the bed, crooking a finger to someone off camera. A second later, a tall, tanned man with longish brown hair walked towards the bed. If Sam didn't know better, from a distance, he could have sworn it was himself. Sam's breathing grew faster as he leaned back in his chair. He felt his groin twitch, watching his lookalike and Gabriel get it on.

The longer the film went, the harder Sam got and he couldn't take it anymore. He pulled his dick out and started stroking it. He was imagining it was him on the bed with Gabriel. That it was him getting stretched and rimmed and made ready from Gabriel's sizable cock. As Gabriel and his lookalike moved faster, so did Sam's hand. Soon, it was beginning to get to be too much, and Sam could feel that familiar pressure in his lower gut. Gabriel moaned loudly and Sam could have sworn that the angel called his name. At that moment, Sam came, his vision whiting out for a second, sighing Gabriel's name as his orgasm washed over him.

Sam heard a chuckle from behind him. Sam quickly tucked himself away and turned to see Gabriel standing before him.

"I knew you wanted me. Just as much as I wanted you." Gabriel said.

Sam frowned. "How are you here? Lucifer killed you!"

Gabriel chuckled again. "Ah, Sammy. I put a bit of myself into the DVD. When you watched the whole thing, you released a part of me, enough for me to rebuild myself. Plus, you orgasming and saying my name helped me get some extra strength. We get power from prayers to us, you know."

"How long did you know?" Sam asked. "That I wanted you?"

Gabriel's eyes twinkled. "Since you first saw me as the janitor. You thought I was hot. You were ready for me to be your first. But when you found out I was the Trickster, I was surprised that that attraction didn't go down. But then again, you've always been attracted to danger." Gabriel said, winking at him.

Sam laughed. "Yeah, I guess I am."

"And when I saw you rip that vampire's head off with just your hands and some wire, well, it took everything in me not to jump your bones." Gabriel replied.

Sam frowned. "You've been watching us for that long?" Sam asked.

Gabriel shrugged. "You interested me, so I looked in on you a couple of times. And hey, I have a bit of a kink for violence. You don't spend a couple thousand years as a Pagan god and not develop a taste for it."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "Fair enough."

They both fell silent.

"Why would you want me, though?" Sam asked, breaking the silence. "I'm human and tainted with demon blood. You're a freaking archangel!"

Gabriel smiled sadly at Sam. "Sam, you're not tainted. You're just a little different." Gabriel said.

"I have so much blood on my hands, Gabriel!" Sam exclaimed. "I've done horrible things."

Gabriel full on belly laughed. "Oh come on Sam! Who do you think you're talking to? I was a PAGAN GOD! If you just have blood on your hands, I must be swimming in oceans of it!"

Sam looked down at his feet. "But you're pure. I'm…not. I'm unclean." Sam said in a small voice.

Gabriel shook his head. "No Sam. You are not. Sure, you slept with a demon and drank her blood! Who hasn't?" Gabriel said at an attempt at levity.

Sam chuckled humourlessly. "Please. Don't. Gabriel, I don't deserve you. You're an archangel. You deserve more than some tainted mud-monkey like me."

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Really? You're actually listening to something Uriel said? He is the universe's biggest windbag. Just like Zachariah and Raphael." Gabriel said. "And Sam, if you could see your soul like I can, you wouldn't be calling yourself tainted."

That caught Sam's attention. "You can see my soul?" Sam asked softly.

Gabriel pointed at himself. "Helloooo! Archangel!" Gabriel said. "Of course I can. And it's one of the brightest I've ever seen. Whatever demon blood tainted you as a child isn't even noticeable on your soul unless you really really search for it. You're just too pure of a person to let a little demon blood taint you."

Sam wasn't one for large displays of emotion or affection, but if he wasn't so shocked, he would have pulled Gabriel into a hug and/or kissed him or maybe even started crying.

"Gabe…" Sam said quietly, almost a whimper.

Gabriel wrapped his arms around Sam's neck, pulling him closer. "It's okay Sam."

Sam blinked, glancing down to Gabriel's lips and then back up to his eyes.

Gabriel winked at him and pulled him even closer, pressing his lips softly against Sam's. "The feeling is very mutual and not at all unrequited." Gabriel said after he pulled away lightly.

Sam let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding. He smiled at Gabriel and leaned down to kiss him again. "Well, that's a good thing, otherwise you wouldn't have kissed me or told me that you wanted me."

"Oh, I want you either way, but this is more than just a one-night stand for me Sam." Gabriel cautioned.

Sam smiled. "I wouldn't have it any other way." Sam replied, kissing Gabriel again.

* * *

 **That's it folks. I hope you enjoyed it! :D**


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